Back in the saddle

Well here we are almost 3 years after I started this Blog and I'm giving it another try. Like most things in my life, this Blog lacks consistency. I don't think (with the exception of a handful of books) I've ever finished anything. I have a laptop now and am going to make an ernest attempt at keeping it up this time. but I'm sure I'll eventually cop out as usual.

In classic form I started this after the election when I had a lot of things to say, but it's probably for the best because there are literally THOUSANDS of other political blogs out there that are better written, better informed and WAY better researched. I'm just glad that with the notable exception of the repeal of gay marriage things went my way which is SHOCKING! Prop.2 in Michigan which lifted some restrictions on stem cell research (finally) and Prop. 1 which legalized medical marijuana. Now if only I could find a crooked doctor.

It looks as though my hometown Detroit (or at least near it) is on the verge of being completely broke. The Auto industry in all it's shortsighted glory dropped the ball on the electric car and are now reaping the whirlwind. The balls it takes to show up in DC. asking for money in a private jet is truly astounding, if you grew up around here however it is not surprising. Every executive for one of the big 3 I have ever met has been an asshole, with very few exceptions. So Detroit goes bankrupt no one in the city would really notice. Those who would feel the crunch would be everyone in the surrounding area which includes me and that makes me a little nervous. But I think that the Auto industry has had it coming for a while.

A Smarter Cooler Joe Davis

Joe Davis, is a research affiliate in the Department of Biology at MIT. He "is an artist who has done extensive research in molecular biology and bioinformatics for the production of genetic databases and new biological art forms.

Pamela Ferdinand wrote, "Davis eschews the art versus science argument, insisting that he speaks both languages and could not possibly tear the two disciplines apart in his own mind.", The Washington Post[3]

His work includes
Experiments with how E. coli respond to jazz, and other sounds, with Andrew Zaretsky

Putting a map of the Milky Way into the ear of a transgenic mouse - "inspired in this project by a children’s story an ex-girlfriend wrote eight years ago

"‘primordial’ clocks, his own test of theory that life spontaneously self-assembled. To Davis, if life could assemble from simple molecules, so could clocks, a much simpler system."[5]

"...ways to make artistic use of high-voltage electricity and spacebound signals. In the early 1980s, he drew up plans for channeling lightning bolts into a pulsed laser of almost unparalleled energy and into towering sculptures that would change the bolts' color and emit incredibly loud tones..."

"recorded the vaginal contractions of ballerinas with the Boston Ballet and other women, then translated this impetus of human conception into text, music, phonetic speech and ultimately into radio signals, which were beamed from MIT's Millstone radar to Epsilon Eridani, Tau Ceti, and two other nearby star systems. ... and more.[6-11]

Tic Tac Toe the movie

I'm surprised it hasn't been done already. Check out this film from Zoltarkill

Plain Brown wrapper

I went to the comic book convention last weekend it was a pretty good time I saw an inordinate number of people there who I thought ,or had wished, were dead. I wasn't able to buy any bootlegged video because ten dealers were arrested the night previous, Hooray for Hollywood!

I think its excellent that they are cracking down on these bootleggers that sell copies of videos that no one cares about. No one except for those desperate losers like myself who are willing to pay through the nose for a Dr. Who episode staring Rowan Adkinson that you can barely see through the static because its a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy. If Hollywood, and the BBC for that matter wants to stop these "PIRATES "( ooooh scary!!!) They should take a clue from This American Life and sell their shows.

"Hollywood" IE The Television and Film industry always have the same argument, that if they were to release certain titles on disk the cost would out way the profit. Therefore it would not be a wise business deal That is true if they continue to release media in the traditional fashion. NBC has sort of caught on with releasing podcasts of their Thursday night line up, "The Office", "My name is Earl" etc... but they should really take a chance and release "Manamal" -"The A-team" and other equally ridiculous shows that people are so passionate about. So what if your copy of "Misfits of Science" comes in a plain wrapper on a plain Silver DVD, If your really a passionate fan you won't care. I know I won't care if my copy of "Cop Rock" doesn't come with commentary

"Steven Bochco is way in to coke I mean really really into coke..." Yeah we know that's why he made "Cop Rock" in the first place.

It's been said that you can't please all of the people all of the time well maybe that's true, but here Hollywood fat cats have a real opportunity to do just that . Give the people what they want and bootleggers won't have to.

R.I.P.

Gordon Parks

Super bowl F.U.

If I hear one more person tell me how great Detroit is now and how I should go down there and see what they've done with the place. I will kill Jerome Beddis by crushing him under every frigging article about how he came home for SUPER BOWL.
Detroit still sucks and it's still corrupt. It doesn't matter how many fresh coats of paint you put on a homeless person it wont make him disappear, besides he shouldn't have to.
Neither of the teams slept in Detroit before or after the game, just like everyone else they went running for the suburbs as soon as their business was done there. So don't tell me how great Detroit is PROVE IT! Stop sweeping shit under the rug and make some changes. A new restaurant is still a new restaurant IN THE GHETTO. Fix it first and polish it later.
Its like putting a new sweater over a broken arm sure it looks nice but it's not healing.

Jihad enough yet?

So Mohammad has a bomb for a hat and that pisses you off? At least the basis of your religion isn't being depicted as a total lame ass. Give me a Deity that blows shit up any day. this is LAME!

Gay

Gayer

Gayest

I wish Jahad a peanut

Muslims are pissed because there were cartoons of the prophet Mohamed. This is aparently a big no no in the muslim culture. Well here is some more cartoons to infuriate those reactionary bastards, from CRACKED magazine by Matt Tobey and Josh Abraham

# 2 to the Simpsons # 1

Rent this from Net flicks or buy this from Amazon you will not regret it. Nor will you realise that anything this good was on the W.B. network!

Don't even send me an Email buffyfan01@aol.com you asshole!

Answer some questions already...

Lost is probably my favorite prime time show right now but I've finally gotten to the point where I 'm starting not to care. They need to quit bringing up new questions when there are so many old unanswered questions AND Stop showing the same shit over and over again.


I know this is a departure from the usual blog but I'm bored with my TV. I've seen every episode of the Simpson's and the new season of RESCUE ME isn't out yet so this stupid show is all I've got.

Stop me if you've heard this one.

8 asian transvestites and a dog walk into a bar...

"Oh Mister Davis?"

If there were to be a columbine type shooting in the school that I work at I would be in the top 5 to go. Because kids are rude and I won't fucking let them get away with it. This kid got locked out of class because he was late, so he banged on the door like he was the cops while I was in the middle of giving instructions, so I just kept going on... he banged even louder " I shouted, I can hear you I'm just ignoring you." If he'd had a gun he'd have shot me with it. With my dying breath I would have said these 3 words "Your an asshole."

"We can be friends" and other lies

I have never maintained a relationship of any sort after a break up. Polite is about all I can manage. When a relationship is over it is as though that person has died. I'll miss em' but it's time to move on. Whenever I see them it's every bit as frightening as seeing a ghost. You can at least call Bill Murray and force her into a box using electric licorice whips. (A Ghostbuster reference.)

Once the decision has been made to part ways, that's all she wrote and it's almost always mutual. There is nothing left to say. When you quit your job in high school you didn't go back and try to ring people up at Target.

Relationships (if done properly) should be filled with passion & intensity and the break up should be just as passionate and intense as the relationship. Lets part friends BULLSHIT! Somebody's been hurt, and that makes it ugly! You can't be friends with someone you've loved and then broken up with. You can't turn it on and off like a light, from"I love you." to "Were cool." doesn't work. If you've done that one of two things is at work here

1. You didn't care that much in the first place.

2. YOU ARE LYING TO YOURSELF.

Here is a similar thought by someone more articulate and more rational than myself.

Don't worry I hate your Job too.

It's the moments when my job goes really well that makes me realise how much I truly hate it. When everything goes as it should. Everyone is polite, I've got a smile on my face and a sense of accomplishment in my heart. That when it hits me...DAMN IT! Why can't everyday be like this ? Why can't I be in love with my job everyday, instead of looking forward to driving home and drinking a High Life (yeah, at the same time don't judge me, you prick!) Where is that feeling when you think "Maybe if I drink the toner from the copier I'll at least get to leave early even if it is in an ambulance."

I'd be happy with loving my job once a week. Twice a week would be awesome. I'm not some greedy A-hole, I'm reasonable, I'd settle for once a month, but it's been maybe once a year TOPS.

Don't get me wrong I've had worse jobs than this, at least I'm inside and no one is actively out to screw me over, and I haven't felt the urge to jerk the wheel into oncoming traffic yet this year... but it's early yet.

I heart animals

SAM R.I.P
I am by all accounts an animal lover. I have been treated several times in various hospitals for animal rescuing or pet allergy related things. I just can't help it. I wouldn't go so far as to become a vegan because I believe that animal rights only go so far. Parrots shouldn't get the vote and F--- spiders all of them. But even I having to get several Tetnus shots over the years and having officiated a pigeon funeral (for real) Iwould kick this dog! DAMN! If you saw this thing under your bed you would die.

Law and Odor

I came across this site entirely by accident once I started clicking around I realised that my friend Matt had commissioned a painting (Jimmy Stuart Breakdancing) from Brandon Bird he never delivered though, I was never quite sure why (not like I need to be)

I personally don't like Law and Order, as a T.V. show not as a concept, this makes me stand out in my family and house hold , I'm sure that as I write this my girlfriend and possibly my father are watching it, in seperate homes!

So please check this out you won't be disapointed. The Law and Order Coloring book

See girls can be stupid too!

This is proof that it's not always the guys that do stupid shit

LMAO is for illeterate losers...

But it would describe the following quite well this is the best of a feature article in the online news letter Kitten Pants. try and read it all without cracking a smile.

That's Entertainment!
by Uncle Sloppy, kittenpants, Corn Mo


THE CHARLES BRONSON SHOW
This Oprah-style talk show focuses mainly on women's issues, and is hosted by everybody's favorite lovable grouch, Charles Bronson. Regular features like “self breast examinations”, “coping with menopause”, “how to deal with an abusive spouse”, and the "Death Wish Book Club" make this new show “must see TV” for the housewife or mother who cares. It’s important subject matter for every woman, and every Charles Bronson fan.

This week: Psychologist Sgt. Chas Axelrod, USMC, counsels an abused 45-year-old homemaker from Stockton, CA. Plus, easy recipes for the single mom on the go. Death Wish Book Club selections: WILL by G. Gordon Liddy, MEIN KAMPF, by Adolph Hitler, and HEARTBURN by Nora Ephron.

SHIRT AND PANTS
An hour-long drama created by Law and Order’s Dick Wolf. The first half of the show revolves around shirts (Who’s wearing them? What color are they?), while the last half gives the audience the pant’s perspective (Who’s not wearing them? How does this relate to shirts?).

SOUTH AMERICAN WILDERNESS KINDERGARTEN
A new adventure/children’s show filmed live at a daycare in the jungles of Bolivia. It centers around a group of nine-year-olds who are taught the ABCs of learning by a pack of wild boars, three boa constrictors, a rogue jackal, and four rather large, carnivorous baboons. The focus is on fun as these kids learn how to read, and how to disguise one’s self as a shrub to avoid being devoured alive by an instructor.

This Week: the class improves basic math skills by counting the pieces left of little Jimmy’s torso after he is “punished” for stealing berries from Principal Koko.

THE MASTURBATING CHEF (now on MH's FOOD channel)
A hot new British import on PBS—this cooking show features England’s most renowned chef, Lindsay Wyman, doing what he does best: cooking traditional English dishes, then masturbating in them.

This Week: Chef Wyman lovingly prepares an old-fashioned Shepherd’s pie, masturbates in it, and serves it to the studio audience. Nobody can tell the difference.

SHIRTS AND PANTS: SVU
Dick Wolf does it again! This show delves further into the lives, loves, and the harsh reality of New York City’s heroic clothing separates. You could say Wolf has covered this topic top to bottom!

THE BYE-BYE ROOM
A children’s show where toddlers are lured into a secret room, shot through the head with a bolt thrower, and ground up to make dog food. Hosted by Regis Philbin and Alf.

This week: the Henderson triplets become the Henderson twins, with hilarious results.

THE OUTLAW FINGERBANG JONES
A western series about a silent drifter who travels from town to town fighting bandits and delivering his own brand of “justice” in the form of the fastest fingerbang in the West.

This Week: after killing the men who shot her husband, our hero fingerbangs Old Widow Jenkins till the cows cum home.

AFTER SCHOOL SPECIALS:
“The Trouble with Retards”
“Two French Buddies Get Real”
“Patches: the Torture Dog”
“Shattered Dreams, Broken Hearts, and Tender Taints”
“ZOO WORLD!!”
“Larry and Toby and Judy and Kate and the Neighborhood Mongoloid”
“City Bitches”
“WHY?!! The Peter Allen Story”
“The Bill Cosby Death Squad Variety Hour”
“Daddy, Help Me Learn to Have an Orgasm”
“Sid and Marty Kroft present: H.R. Rapingstuff’s Tree House of Shame”

ANGEL DUST DAVE’S YANKEE WORKSHOP
Vietnam vet and Angel Dust addict, Dave Simmons, builds trophy cases using wood from his yard, then smashes them with his face after smoking Angel Dust.

This Week: Guest star Scott Baio runs for his life after accidentally spilling paint thinner on Dave’s stash.

CHOOSTER
A half-chicken/half-rooster lone gunman offers vigilante justice to the people he meets while searching for the scientists who created him.

This week: Chooster stumbles upon an abandoned child, reunites him with his mother, and fucks the living shit out of her Thanksgiving entrée.

Who the Fuck Are You?
A kooky "Brit-com" about 3 London flatmates who live next door to a chemical plant. The fumes have eroded their short-term memory causing them to constantly scare the shit out of one another when they enter the living room, and prompting the enormously popular catch-phrase "Who the fuck are you?!!"

This week: Shirley walks in on Clive having sex with Wendy on the couch. Not recognizing Clive, Shirley mistakes him for a rapist and stabs him to death with a fingernail file. She and Wendy eventually find a new roommate, then immediately forget who he is, and all is back to "normal".

Goth Jeopardy
A new twist on an old classic: Host Peter Murphy quizzes Hot Topic employees on trivia related to the music, fashion, and lifestyle of the irrepressible Goth subculture.

This week: Kat, a 19-year-old body piercing enthusiast is disqualified when she forgets to phrase the answer "Sisters of Mercy" in the form of a question.

Shit Or Get Off the Pot
Succumbing to America's love for the "extreme" game show, we've developed this exciting new twist: contestants are forced to answer questions about science, history, and the arts, while simultaneously moving their bowels. Set atop a specially constructed electrified chrome and plexiglass toilet, the stress is magnified by the loaded revolver being held at their head by an autistic 11-year-old with Tourette's Syndrome, as well as the giant scorpions crawling on their exposed genitalia. Points are deducted for wrong answers and "false alarms". Hosted by Peter Graves.

This week: University of Wisconsin quarterback Flip Miller gets 500 bonus points for timing his explosive diarrhea to coincide with his answer "Cuban Missile Crisis".

"UNCLE FRIEND"
Jessica is being "raised" by a single "mom". In this half-hour dramedy, we watch 12-year-old Jessica come of age as she is introduced to an endless string of her mother's boyfriends. Special "Uncle" appearances by Scott Baio, William Shatner, Warwick Davis and Conan O'Brien.

"BLOW-JOB CAFE"
A live one-hour musical variety show set in a kooky diner staffed by deranged, sex-addicted Vietnam vets. Each musical number and/or comedy routine is followed by a real live blow-job. This week's episode: Special guest Donny Most gets stabbed while trying to keep Staff Sergeant Rick Jones from giving him a blow-job.

Madison Ave.

We need a return to this kind of advertising immediately! Think of the endless opportunities missed for marring racism and Advertising especially post 911 ... 4 more years! 4 more years!

It's been along time...

Let me start off by making excuses.

I am unable for whatever reason to post entries from home, I can do it but I can't really edit them, and as you know loyal reader my spelling is terrible! Now that I'm back teaching again I have access to a computer that I can edit from so I'll be starting up the old blog again. I'm sorry that I've been away so long. That being said let's charge into the latest...

George Bush doesn't care about black people?

I don't think so.

George Bush doesn't care about any people.

If so he wouldn't be cutting funding to programs like FEMA and thumb his nose @the Kyoto accord. Global Warming is part of the reason that New Orleans is under water in the first place.

Maybe Dub-yuh is actually an Evil Genius (bear with me) I know he's evil but this is seriously a plot straight out of Flash Gordon.

Fade in (interior Deep within the hidden volcano HQ of W in Crawford Texas)

W: At last my plan has come to fruition the price of oil is very high indeed.

Soon I will invade Iraq and control the oil fields bringing the human race to it's knees and making me the most powerful man in the world!

(enter: Jack booted lacky wearing an all leather cowboy outfit with the word Lasso emblazoned across his chest in white letters)

W: Who dares interrupt me in this my finest hour!

Lasso: All hail W, I bring news of a fantastic treasure found by one of your agents buried under the town of New Orleans.

W: New Orleans? Dispatch the Army immediately! Use as much force as is necessary, kill as many as possible. Let them quake at the name W!

(a dark figure emerges from the shadows, troll like in it's appearance)

Mysterious Figure: An excellent plan indeed "W" but a bit showy don't you think? Perhaps there is a better, quieter way. We can still crush them and take the treasure for ourselves.

W: Cheney? My God! I'd heard legends of you from my Father but I never believed you were anything more than a boogy man.

Lasso: The women in my village used to threaten ill behaved children with your presence saying that you lurked beneath their beds.

Cheney: W, I can give you the Power of Cesar but the love of Reagan.

W: But how?

Cheney: We use your beloved fossil fuels, create a device called the H2 earth fu*ker and raise the temperature of the Earth and raise the water level... Then we wait.

W: But won't people look to me to (gulp) do something?

Cheney: Cut your funding to programs that will help people then start a war to distract them. Then we WAIT... ha ha ha ha !